_/▀\_

muscles and groans, the only thing we're really attracted to...
are more muscles and bones. - music.


wow, it's been such a long time since I've posted.
more stupid life stuff has been happening, although there has been a bunch of fun stuff in there, most of it's been annoying, boring, "grah! I wanna kill myself", junk. - overview.


I thought I had completely cleared you out of my mind, until Tuesday morning, when I woke up and I had a really bad memory of you, I mean, for once, this time I was actually thinking of how strange it truly was.. not just how funny. oh well, whatever! you've given up on me and I'm left her wasting my time on what "could have been", because I suck like that. - relationship status.

that being said, I've given up on relationships, I'm kind of out of the whole, 'looking for a girlfriend' part of my life... in fact, I've kind of given up on girls, for now at least, they just like to take your muscles and bones, just to leave you with blood, skin and groans... well, at least the females of my interest, I always have to pick the frickin' weird ones, the ones that make people say "wtf?".
I think the next one needs to be one of those crazy Animal Activists, that'd be fun!
but more serious... I think I'm screwed as far as that stuff goes - thoughts on relationships.


I've been messing around on the guitar, trying to figure some stuff up, as some people know, I don't have any clue how to play the guitar! awesome, right? well, maybe not, but! I'm learning some stuff and going to work it into my already, super confusing... music... stuff... hopefully it'll workout well. if not I'll just learn how to play guitar and not worry about sound effects. - stuff that doesn't dump, screw you over and make you feel like crap afterward!!!(or months later)

Tonight(if it were still Wednesday night in the PM, I saw Smashing Pumpkins LIVE! at the Tennessee Theatre, which was SUPER FREAKIN' AWESOME! I love the show, it was about 2&1/2 hours long, but it was so much fun, I don't really know what to say, besides, I loved it and it was phenomenal! - Fun Life stuff.
I'm also looking forward to school, it should be fun; mostly because I'm learning German & Japanese... - Yeah... School!


I also realized during a 'Choir Retreat', that almost every night as I lay down to go to sleep, 85% of the time falling asleep I think of really sad or depressing things, which by the way, isn't really helpful when trying to sleep. I've realized that I've done this ever since I was about 8, which, if nobody else does the same, it REALLY SUCKS. other than that, the Lake House was fun and we did a bunch of stuff in the lake the next day, now I just gotta work on these thoughts before sleep, I usually try to replace all of these bad thoughts, with all of the people that I've liked, but they've totally blown me off, ignored it, straight up said infront of me that they aren't interested or like somebody else...- unFun Life stuff.

so, overall, life is pretty top notch and I... enjoy some of it! some of it makes me hate myself.
I hope everybody is doing good and having a good last few weeks of Summer!

until next time,
yeah, I still suck,
Later!

Jason.