_/▀\_

when I started to write this blog, about 3 hours ago, I was going to end on a somewhat happy-ish note.. but now, I feel I've only lost myself even more..

Sunday went superb.. it went as planned, until tonight after eating at The Pearl (The Knoxville Pearl).
nothing horrible happened or anything, I'm just pretty sure it's meant to a friendship, like all the others, except I didn't really want it to be, so my original plan was to just walk home, but that would've taken at least 3 hours, but I decided to get 4 shots of espresso just to wake me up and realize what the hell I was doing.. then after we left we stopped by Starbucks and it started going downhill, then on the way home I've said a lot more than I could ever see myself telling somebody about what I've done, it went alright, but I came out so-so, a little happier than before, then came some really bad news and I had completely forgotten about my situation, until I got a text, which really just makes me feel like a horrible person.




fuck

next time.. I'll still be alive, next time I'll probably be doing dandy, but I think some friendships should just be, unless both people think different.
so until then..
later