_/▀\_

So as of recent, I'm realizing that a large percentage of my friends are more likely to hangout and talk with my brother than myself. also, everyone thinks I'm out to correct them, which is pretty messed up, being somebody who doesn't know shit.

I guess I should start being an asshole to everyone. it seems to get my brother and his friends, more friends.

I feel pretty fucked up right now and I'm not on any medicine, drugs, etc..
life sucks, again. I'm boring, people don't give a shit. I don't fit in any categories because I'm much too careless and would rather be able to talk to everyone, which apparently just isn't good enough.

maybe I'm over analyzing this? maybe people are ignoring me for my own good? maybe people love me so much, that they know what's best for me?

oh I was going to say, before I started ranting.
For someone who's interested in something that involves using loops, I sure don't seem to fit in the flow of any.
fuck society.

http://PandaBearHugs.Mindsay.com

it's up now, themed and simple, I'm still working on it!


stay beautiful ;D

here comes a band from Montreal, Quebec CANADIA~!

If you didn't expect something related to actual sleigh bells, congratulations, you're a winner. 

May your days be great and 2010, treat you with more love and respect than any other..



update: I also plan to post more stuff unrelated to myself, like music, movies, art, etc..

Arms around your hips... laying on beautiful green grass, by the lake.. fingers sliding down your lips..
oh you smell so wonderful, your personality and body match
if I could be completely unbias, I'd still say you're the best catch.




staying up all night, keep you smile wide, stay beautiful girls, one day you'll be a most delightful bride.

when you take one of my favorite forms of transportation and make a joke out of it.. you can expect me to be pissed.

the girl I once enjoyed so much.. couldn't help but be together as much.

the girl that at one point in time wouldn't even speak to me..

I couldn't help but notice how strongly she kept looking at me, from across the restaurant, then she asked "do I get a hug?"
I feel as if I'm in an episode of the Twilight Zone, where things I want to happen... actually do.

Also, I feel like I should be able to completely cut these feelings off.. does she still really like me? am I just that conceited? does she enjoying play games with people?
oh how life & women are such a puzzle..

oh Lord, what a mess I'm in.

you rush to every location, breaking down barriers, cleaning out your wallet, swiping your card to devour your bank account, to reach your ending destination.


what is all this for?
the thanking of a friend or expecting more than you deserve?



I don't know what Christmas is anymore.. I've lost that warm happy feeling.
but I do love giving, whether it be a favor, bought or labor, making someone smile gives me the most overwhelming amount of happiness..
___________________________________________
I know what Christmas is about, but I don't feel the same.
maybe it's a good thing? giving everyone your everything
all the time.. not making up for past mistakes or heartbreaks.

whether you're religious or not, I'd just say to be happy and
thankful for everything, don't let the grumpy holiday people
get to you.

and please, respect store employees... being angry at us isn't
going to make something magically appear, sadly =/

everyone has been telling me how mean I've become recently...

I can't even explain how, when at my best or worst The Mountain Goat's album We Shall All Be Healed, has the most depressing uplifting songs..yet, while I can only feel like this album is about somebody who's been through mass amounts of horrible things. my life isn't bad at all and I'm pretty damn thankful.


oh have at your Holidays!

I think I come here to rant and talk because anytime I try to elsewhere I tend to give the wrong impression and constantly get the wrong response..

I'm not here for pity or any of that shit, I'm just here to speak my mind.



'I hope the last time I see you, you'll be trying to pry open the lid and it won't budge and if it does all I can see is your fingers'<<that was the best part of you.

oh oh, I just want to have fun.

I feel like lately I've just been looking back at a fun life I once had...
As if I were a moderator/spectator just looking at life.. I need to start doing fun things again.

who's up for some fun!!?

I feel like lately I've been a downright no good, stupid jerkface to people.

it seems as if I've been analyzing my friends a lot lately, which is stupid. I've never let small things bother me... but when I bring it up in conversation it seems like something waaay bigger than I think it is.

I think from this point on I'm going to keep my mouth shut!

I'll hardly ever understand mainstream music or why kids listen to it.
I'll never understand what about it makes people want to do what they do.

They hardly understand why I listen to and/or play the music I do.
They never understand why it makes me wanna get up and dance.



there, I've said it, I completely understand it's an opinion and what's "popular" type thing.
I just wanted to DJ a set that people enjoyed, some people did, which makes me happy...

I kind of wish I never was so free thinking, I wish that I was so oblivious and blind.
I wish that rap music entertained me, I wish that I had no personality... I wish I was serious.

I'm so tired of being an individual, that's one thing I can seriously say..
I'm tired of people lying to me, I'm tired of people not wanting to hurt my feelings.

There's a girl somewhere out there for me... but I can't accept that it will be forever before I find her, I truly hate the loneliness, but I don't want to be with someone I don't like.

I feel like I was a complete ass to all my friends tonight, but it was only me being tired and frustrated.. I've never wanted to be so badly rejected for one of the things I love most.

thanks for reading.. I have work in the tomorrow..
I hope you are doing so well, if you are or if you're not, let's talk.
I want to rhyme that with walk
qpdbqpdbqp
til next time, pleasant journeys!

I don't know how many people actually use music visualizers.. like, just sit and watch them.

I know that personally every once in a while I just like to set up a playlist and sit back watching a music visualizer. it's pretty relaxing, though I could see a lot of people finding it quite ridiculous.

Ambient music or most anything electronic works pretty well. I'd recommend doing this if you ever get a chance, have some spare time, need to think things out or just want to try it.

hope all is well in the world.
dddd//-

just because my mom has a bad day mentally, doesn't mean she has to be a bitch everyday.

I bust my ass almost everyday, physically and mentally, I do a ton of different types of physical and mental strain, but I don't bitch at everyone else for it.


I'm getting sick and tired of this, this so fucking familiar thing I've come to know as everyday life, I every once in a while feel a somewhat "normal" sense of life, but lately it's just looking forward to fun events and pushing aside all the bitching and constant hassle.
I've done some bad things, but I don't think I've done so much as to deserve this.


I need to get the fuck out of Tennessee.
I hate my life...

....I just can't wait to go outside

So I've been working like crazy lately and Monday my register came out $200 short, which to this day I'm still trying to figure out. but in the end, it might just fall on me, I've been told that I won't be fired because they know I didn't steal it. but still I really just want to know where it ended up? I know I didn't accidentally hand someone $200 in change.

but that's been kinda weighing on my mind, keeping me a bit uneasy.

Halloween is approaching and I'm getting ready for my party next Saturday, I'll post pics and videos if I manage to take any. but I'm really excited, dressing up and everything Halloween related just fascinates me!

Lovvve,
Jason Der Vegetarrriar.