_/▀\_

and promoting it at the same time.
~-Rant-~

We Americans(not all of us, of course), Love to complain about Mexican's coming into the States and taking our welfare, health care, medicare & so on.
we love to talk about ways to get rid of illegal immigration, we bad talk them so much, yet we(big corporations & companies) send our own, out into other countries to make twice as much as most of us can make here in the states.

We take people from East India(just an example), bring them into the U.S. give them all the free health care they need, even let them stay here, do as they please and get tons of help for free.
We have so many of our own people, in fact, we have too many people in the States who need health care, who need financial help, not because they've screwed themselves up, but because the government has, yet we're arguing about illegal immigration and inviting others into our country, while sending our own out.

America Land of the free*
in this land, nothing comes for free, unless you're foreign or rich, hell the rich even get tax-cuts and tax breaks.
and yes, I know not all foreigners get stuff for free and technically nothing is free, but when it comes down to it, a lot more things are.
we can't even drink, smoke, streak, riot, make our own decisions, etc... without the Government and law screwing us over telling us it's illegal... where's the freedom? I lack to see freedom.
even the Freedom of Speech, is slowly fading...
*some restrictions apply


this is the end of my post, but not the end of my posts to come.
I keep this short, because some peoples attention span is very short.

I have nothing against anyone, except the Law and Government.
decisions aren't easy, but making problems of things then turning them into huge issues, is bad.

Love, Blood & Bones,
Jason Der Vegetarier.

Major LAWLZ and a little

As of this point in time, I just feel really horrible.

and I feel so bad, that I've got a headache and my depth perception is really messed up, which in no way can be good.

ugh.. I love you so much..
but I don't think you truly understand.



Love, Blood& Bones,
Jason Der Vegetarier

muscles and groans, the only thing we're really attracted to...
are more muscles and bones. - music.


wow, it's been such a long time since I've posted.
more stupid life stuff has been happening, although there has been a bunch of fun stuff in there, most of it's been annoying, boring, "grah! I wanna kill myself", junk. - overview.


I thought I had completely cleared you out of my mind, until Tuesday morning, when I woke up and I had a really bad memory of you, I mean, for once, this time I was actually thinking of how strange it truly was.. not just how funny. oh well, whatever! you've given up on me and I'm left her wasting my time on what "could have been", because I suck like that. - relationship status.

that being said, I've given up on relationships, I'm kind of out of the whole, 'looking for a girlfriend' part of my life... in fact, I've kind of given up on girls, for now at least, they just like to take your muscles and bones, just to leave you with blood, skin and groans... well, at least the females of my interest, I always have to pick the frickin' weird ones, the ones that make people say "wtf?".
I think the next one needs to be one of those crazy Animal Activists, that'd be fun!
but more serious... I think I'm screwed as far as that stuff goes - thoughts on relationships.


I've been messing around on the guitar, trying to figure some stuff up, as some people know, I don't have any clue how to play the guitar! awesome, right? well, maybe not, but! I'm learning some stuff and going to work it into my already, super confusing... music... stuff... hopefully it'll workout well. if not I'll just learn how to play guitar and not worry about sound effects. - stuff that doesn't dump, screw you over and make you feel like crap afterward!!!(or months later)

Tonight(if it were still Wednesday night in the PM, I saw Smashing Pumpkins LIVE! at the Tennessee Theatre, which was SUPER FREAKIN' AWESOME! I love the show, it was about 2&1/2 hours long, but it was so much fun, I don't really know what to say, besides, I loved it and it was phenomenal! - Fun Life stuff.
I'm also looking forward to school, it should be fun; mostly because I'm learning German & Japanese... - Yeah... School!


I also realized during a 'Choir Retreat', that almost every night as I lay down to go to sleep, 85% of the time falling asleep I think of really sad or depressing things, which by the way, isn't really helpful when trying to sleep. I've realized that I've done this ever since I was about 8, which, if nobody else does the same, it REALLY SUCKS. other than that, the Lake House was fun and we did a bunch of stuff in the lake the next day, now I just gotta work on these thoughts before sleep, I usually try to replace all of these bad thoughts, with all of the people that I've liked, but they've totally blown me off, ignored it, straight up said infront of me that they aren't interested or like somebody else...- unFun Life stuff.

so, overall, life is pretty top notch and I... enjoy some of it! some of it makes me hate myself.
I hope everybody is doing good and having a good last few weeks of Summer!

until next time,
yeah, I still suck,
Later!

Jason.

However, since that point in time I've yet to feel anything toward or for anybody, I've been going around having tons of people asking if I like certain girls.. but the complete honest truth is, I haven't met but one girl recently that I feel somewhat happy to be around... but the fact that she lives so far away, I mean.. seriously, just screws my plans up a lot, I've talked to her for like, the past two years or so.. but I don't really see anything happening.

As for everybody else goes, I think it's just that people in Knoxville have started to disgust me and make me hate everything about it, lately I feel like I've been stabbed in the back so many times so often, that I can't tell people anything, without fearing that it will spread to 10 other people, I have no intentions of hurting people and I definitely have some secrets that I feel some people should know, but not everybody..

sometimes I wish I had that love feeling again, but most of the time I realize that it's more of a hurt in the end, because apparently I'm a fuck up, somebody who seems worth it at first, but later on isn't, maybe it's because I'm somewhat afraid to get into anything too deep, anything that makes me feel dedicated to another person, even though I love it so much.. I guess you could say I love everything but love itself...

I've also noticed a lot lately that people are unfriendly, unkind, unwilling, unloving.. they're so self centered, that they can't even care for another person and I know lately I've held some grudges, but it's only when somebody does something completely uncalled for...

I bought Dracula and Vampire Stories, at Borders I asked my mom if we owned Dracula and she said no, then she also added, "Who's gotten you into that?, you're supposed to be the Christian kid in the family", which struck me really weirdly, seeing as how I seem to be the only person in my family interested in Christ or Christianity in general right now, so apparently me being a Christian automatically turns me away from Fiction novels? it automatically makes me hate anything dark? it honestly makes no sense.. then later on she told me that it was "really gruesome"... seriously? I don't know what was going through her head, especially when she asked who got me into this.. I mean, I've always liked Vampires, I just never really expressed it, but last Halloween I finally did, which apparently meant that I couldn't be a free minded being.. and that it was somebody else that turned me to it.. and I've never really been sick or grossed out by violence or anything of that kind.. so I thought that was kind of interesting.

so.. for the time being, I'd just like to say that I'm trying to figure life out.
I'm also trying to figure out if I'm really just sick of relationships or if I just haven't found anybody that interests me.

until next time,
and I'm surprised I'm still alive,
Later!

Jason.

just a fair warning, this is another one of those, non-humorous blogs about my life.

Today, Friday, May 9th is intended to be an awesome day, there's a "laid back" version of prom that Master's Monday Coop school is having tonight, but I wasn't thinking about it too much, I forgot to ask off for work, so here I am in need of getting work off, I'm scheduled for 6-10 the dance goes from 7-12, nobody will cover for me and I don't want to call out, because I know it's really annoying when people call out and it's not good for me.
so! I'm going to call in and ask if I can work an earlier shift or take somebody's if anybody calls out.
I pray to the Lord that this will work.

this will be 3rd prom... type thing, which is pretty awesome for only being my Sophomore year, but I love it! I love dances, I would go to one a month if I got the dance... hah.. I meant to type 'the chance'.

hopefully all you fellow Mindsayers are doing good and having fun.
public school gets out in one week here, so that means the beginning of staying up all night, going out, tons of sleepovers.

until next time,
Jason.

Showbread was definitely correct when they said "Art is not the world"
if anything the world is a piece of art.



I ordered the Joshua S. Porter solo CD.
Artist - DIES
Album - Aesthetics of Violence

it's an electronic/sound cd, with one acoustic song, that is very beautiful, I look forward to more solo albums.

school is almost out, which is the official beginning of Summer in my book.

until next time,
Later.
Der Vegetarier,
Jason.

well, after checking out Axiotrons Apple ModBook, I checked out Macworld.com, which I would eventually find a post about Apple released Safari for Windows.

Safari being Mac computers default browse.
I'm downloading it right now and I'll give my thoughts on it later, but for now I'll go outside and absorb some sun.

'til then,
Later!

but liking a friend is not a good thing..

it kind of sucks.


seriously.
until next time,
Later!

Story: set for a June 30th Release, Guitar Hero: Aerosmith is the fifth installment of the game,(GH, II, Rocks The 80's & III)

(taken from IGN)
"Guitar Hero: Aerosmith puts players in the shoes of Perry (guitar), Whitford (guitar) and Hamilton (bass)as they rock out alongside frontman Tyler and drummer Kramer. Gamers experience Aerosmith's legendary career, from their first gig to becoming rock royalty. As players progress through the game, they can rock out to scores of Aerosmith's greatest hits, as well as songs from celebrated artists that the band has either performed with or has been inspired by in some way. Venues from historical moments during the band's illustrious career offer the experience of "sweet emotion" and further capture the essence of the band’s rise to fame."

Sure, we all love Aerosmith, great band, great songs.
but do they really have the potential?
one of they're Greatest hits CD has only 10 songs, I'm not down talking the band, I love Aerosmith, but I just honestly don't think it's worth $50(before tax).

$20-30, would be more convincing, nothing against the band, but I would rather buy a Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Grateful Dead or The Doors version of Guitar Hero, but even at that I would maybe consider paying 40 dollars max.

(Click bottom image to see Full)

Final Thoughts:
With one of their songs, Same Old Song and Dance already on GHIII, I don't see why they couldn't just have another single song on Guitar Hero IV(which yes, is confirmed and being made right now).
I believe it's just Activision Blizzard getting a little greedy.
Guitar Hero: Aerosmith is either:

1. For die hard Aerosmith Fans
2. For die hard Guitar Hero Fans
3. Another way for Activision to grab every little bit of money they can.

besides being sick, mentally I've been kinda so-so lately, I'm hoping it's just due to all the things going on right now, like my moms surgery, working constantly and being sick.
if not, then I need to figure out why, maybe it's because of where I'm headed in life, maybe it's because of something I want to say, but can't really find the right time or place to say it.
maybe... I don't know


I really need to get off of this whole numbered life blog post thing and post some randomness like I used to..
but I really hope whenever I get over this sickness I'll be happy again and ready for everything I originally planned and hoped for.

plus, I'm ready for Summer.. I had too much fun last year, I want to recreate that with all the people I love and the new friends I've made... because I can see it being super fun.

until next time,
Later!

I spend my week working like crazy and usually when I get home I'm super tired and don't look forward to much, except for seeing you at the week end and almost guaranteed I'll see you Sunday at choir practice every week, makes my week so much better and gives me something to look forward to.
I hardly even get to hangout with people anymore as it is, so I try to see friends as often as possible, be it once a week or once every two weeks, but seeing you always makes me happy, holding, hugging, play fighting, making situations super awkward or whatever we do, it means a lot to me.

I think that could quite possibly be, what I believe it to.. and even though it may seem kind of lame that we never really talk over the phone but text like crazy, it's great... especially since I'm not really a person for words but more so actions.
Cheryl, you're super awesome!

and yes, I totally snagged that Subject from Bob Marley.
Until next time,
Later!

when I started to write this blog, about 3 hours ago, I was going to end on a somewhat happy-ish note.. but now, I feel I've only lost myself even more..

Sunday went superb.. it went as planned, until tonight after eating at The Pearl (The Knoxville Pearl).
nothing horrible happened or anything, I'm just pretty sure it's meant to a friendship, like all the others, except I didn't really want it to be, so my original plan was to just walk home, but that would've taken at least 3 hours, but I decided to get 4 shots of espresso just to wake me up and realize what the hell I was doing.. then after we left we stopped by Starbucks and it started going downhill, then on the way home I've said a lot more than I could ever see myself telling somebody about what I've done, it went alright, but I came out so-so, a little happier than before, then came some really bad news and I had completely forgotten about my situation, until I got a text, which really just makes me feel like a horrible person.




fuck

next time.. I'll still be alive, next time I'll probably be doing dandy, but I think some friendships should just be, unless both people think different.
so until then..
later

now with the Holidays past and gone, done with, vanished, ka-gone!

I'm back to my life, although I'm keeping my job at Old Navy, so it's pretty awesome, starting the year off with a love and tons of friends, it's quite possibly the best start to any year.

I've got a job, I'm making money, I spend money on clothes like a model, I'm also realizing I don't make the amount of money they do.
I bought a pair of pants, a shirt, a polo and a sweater today, coincidentally Sarah found me a pair of jeans while at Rugged Wearhouse(which are super rad I may add) with my family and my mother found a shirt for me, so I've got clothes like crazy now.

until next time,
Later!

for my 13th numbered post(even if I do have duplicates of other) of how life is going, it's divided into 2 sections, solely based on New Years Eve and New Years day. neither day did I take a single picture, which is horrible because I always take pictures on New Years eve and day.

2007-Monday, December 31st.
I don't remember much about waking up, just Chris calling me and coming over, I started taking a shower around 5pm Hannah & Savannah showed up and I finished getting my stuff together for the night/day ahead of me, from my house we went to wal-mart to get party supplies but they were out of giant air horns, Cheryl met up with us and we went to Party City and they didn't have any either, but we did end up getting stuff there, then to the Baker's to regroup then head downtown after using some party supplies before midnight. downtown was alright, but nobody really cared to pay for anything and it was freezing cold, I think we had a lot more fun sitting on rocks than walking around looking for stuff to do, after that it was time to head to the Sea's which we were only there for a little while, but it was really fun, I wish we could have stayed longer but Hannah reallly wanted to get home.
so we get back t-minus 10seconds until midnight and I pretty much screamed my lungs out and ran through everybody screaming with Erick and getting beaten after that listened to music before getting on their computer and playing Bohemian Rhapsody, which like 10 of us got together and sang, so freakin' awesome! then from there the night consist of hanging with everybody around the fire sitting on people, running to Wal-Mart again watching movies(Knocked up and Superbad) and trying to sleep.. getting around 2 hours of sleep, it was such a freakin' awesome night.

2008-Tuesday, January 1st.
sometime Tuesday morning, I woke up and continued talking with everybody and listened to some ridiculously hilarious conversations taking place in the other room, going back and forth for a while before getting up and playing Rock Band with Erick, AJ, Corey and somebody else...


(more to come, I must leave for work however)

I seem to think that lately these feelings are somewhat because of pressure and that I'm not fully aware of what I'm getting into..
but at the same time I like it.
I don't know who you are, I barely know anything about you, your thoughts, opinions, likes, dislikes, feelings and such forth.

but you, I love you, I know and get along with you so well, but I can't do more than be your friend. I would never want for anything to go wrong.. I just hope I find this in somebody else, without the pressure and unknowing.
maybe one day, but at this current point in time.. I just reminded myself how bad of a situation I put myself in, with 2 or 3 possible ways to get out, but I don't like any of them.

I hope to have as much fun with you, as I can, for as long as possible.

fin.

'twas the night after Christmas..
and everything went grand.

I got a lot of cool things, I'll just list them and not go into much detail, seeing as how I haven't been able to do much.

• Logitech MX Air mouse (which is charging right now)
• Medal of Honor: Heroes 2
• really soft sleep pants
• Enemy Territory: Quake Wars (which I haven't installed yet)
• Braun 5790 shaver
• a wicked awesome pair of rastafarian Franky Morales wheels for my XSJADOs(inline skates)
• Kizer Demetrious Suspension frames also for my xsjados, both in the shipping process though, because the frames won't be released until January 15th.

hopefully all of you had as great Christmas as I did, I know I had a gay old time.

until next time,
Later~!

Christmas day is almost here and I've been working at Old Navy since the Sunday before Black Friday, which has been pretty great so far, but it's really taken away from the "Christmas Spirit" in my opinion because I'm busy working and not going places looking at lights going to Gatlinburg & Pigeon Forge, that kind of stuff we normally do.

but having money during the holiday season, is awesome I finally bought a pair of bluejeans from Hot Topic that fit without a belt, although I just realized last night that they're 26-30's when I needed a 32 length.. it's not bad though, it's only noticeable when I sit down.
although spending 31$ on a pair of pants seems a bit ridiculous in my opinion.. I don't feel so bad knowing it only took 5 hours to pay that off.. plus I've been picking up a couple of different peoples shifts over the past 2 weeks and I just got my check today, which really surprised me, I made like 70$ more than I thought I would..
my hours for this coming week... are crazy.

but, life's going awesome!
and I just saw Sweeney Todd last night with tons of people I love.

until next time,
Later!

it's officially been 4 years since 2003, since that horrible morning on December 10th, all I remember is the feeling of never wanting to feel like that and just disbelief, I remember when they came in the room as we were all laying around trying to get sleep, in the most uncomfortable ways possible, to say that he was off of life support I remember looking at the clock and it was exactly 11AM. if life could have just stopped, if I could have gone back a year and relived it to fix everything that was unknown, fix everything that went wrong.. none of this would have happened.
but, as much as I asked for that to happen, it never has and never will.
I don't think I'll ever be able to have an honest happy December, at the age of 12 and 15 days until Christmas, how are you supposed to enjoy the holidays after the passing of your father.. it's quite impossible, the worst thing is that it happened.. which makes me wonder, does everything honestly happen for a reason? or do things just happen as life goes on?

December is by far one of the greatest months for most people, but it's the one month I could do without, the one month I wish never happened.
I've continued my life, with some of the most amazing memories, questions I wish I could've asked and stories.. my dad had the most awesome stories from his life, knowing that almost all of the stories were true, is what was so amazing, the only thing I hope for, is that in my life, I'll have some stories like he did, to tell..
the realization of him never coming back, was actually a year or two later.. I don't remember when it was, but I can remember it so well, it was one night while hanging out with Josh & Josh, we were in Wal-Mart and it just hit me and I felt so unreal in that moment.. I just couldn't believe that it hadn't hit me so hard since that morning.

Dad, I miss you, I love you, I'm pretty confused with life, I wish you were still here to help and go hiking, camping and all those fun things we used to do.
I can't wait to see you again, until then, I will wait, no matter how long it takes.
life hasn't been the same ever since, it's been missing the key part.
nobody deserves this, I would never wish something like this upon my enemy, sadly it's something that happens to some of the best people..

the one thing I learned from my father that I can relate to most, is that you have to enjoy life to the fullest, no matter what.
I believe that's one thing can do.

Until next time,
I'll be waiting for you,
wherever I am.

because I feel it's become a deserted place, where I just write a bunch of stuff about my life, that probably nobody is interested in.
which is possibly why when I wrote a bunch of ridiculous nonsense before, people would read it.


have I really just become a boring person and all I write is information that nobody really cares about?

American Falls, 1911 is the date which is said to be when it was taken.
thanks http://Snopes.com!

Direct link to Niagara falls picutres